Stephen just for you...I had to post this picture to the blog as a reminder...
Tuesday, February 22, 2005
Monday, February 21, 2005
Southerners...
Only a Southerner knows the difference between a hissie fit
and a conniption fit, and that you don't "HAVE" them, you
"PITCH" them.
_____
Only a Southerner knows how many fish, collard greens,
turnip greens, peas, beans, etc., make up "a mess."
_____
Only a Southerner can show or point out to you the
general direction of "yonder."
_____
Only a Southerner knows exactly how long "directly" is --
as in: "Going to town, be back directly."
_____
Even Southern babies know that "Gimme some sugar" is not a
request for the white, granular sweet substance that sits in
a pretty little bowl in the middle of the table.
_____
All Southerners know exactly when "by and by" is. They might
not use the term, but they know the concept well.
_____
Only a Southerner knows instinctively that the best gesture
of solace for a neighbor who's got trouble is a plate of hot
fried chicken and a big bowl of cold potato salad. If the
neighbor's trouble is a real crisis, they also know to add
a large banana puddin'!
_____
Only Southerners grow up knowing the difference between
"right near" and "a right far piece." They also know that
"just down the road" can be 1 mile or 20.
_____
Only a Southerner, both knows and understands, the difference
between a redneck, a good ol' boy, and po' white trash.
_____
No true Southerner would ever assume that the car with the
flashing turn signal is actually going to make a turn.
_____
A Southerner knows that "fixin" can be used as a noun,
a verb, or an adverb.
_____
Only Southerners make friends while standing in lines. We
don't do "queues," we do "lines"; and when we're "in line,"
we talk to everybody!
_____
Put 100 Southerners in a room and half of them will discover
they're related, even if only by marriage.
_____
Southerners never refer to one person as "ya'll."
_____
Southerners know grits come from corn and how to eat them.
_____
Every Southerner knows tomatoes with eggs, bacon, grits,
and coffee are perfectly wonderful; that red eye gravy
is also a breakfast food; and that fried green tomatoes
are not a breakfast food.
_____
When you hear someone say, "Well, I caught myself lookin',"
you know you are in the presence of a genuine Southerner!
_____
Only true Southerners say "sweet tea" and "sweet milk." Sweet tea
indicates the need for sugar and lots of it -- we do not like our tea unsweetened. "Sweet milk" means you don't want buttermilk.
_____
And a true Southerner knows you don't scream obscenities at little
old ladies who drive 30 MPH on the freeway. You just say,
"Bless her heart" and go your own way.
_____
To those of you who're still a little embarrassed by your
Southerness: Take two tent revivals and a dose of sausage
gravy and call me in the morning. Bless your heart!
_____
And to those of you who are still having a hard time understanding
all this Southern stuff, bless your hearts, I hear they are fixin'
to have classes on Southernness as a second language!
_____
And for those that are not from the South but have lived here for a
long time, ya'll need a sign to hang on ya'lls front porch that
reads: "I aint from the South but I got here as fast as I could."
_____
Bless your hearts, ya'll have a blessed day!
and a conniption fit, and that you don't "HAVE" them, you
"PITCH" them.
_____
Only a Southerner knows how many fish, collard greens,
turnip greens, peas, beans, etc., make up "a mess."
_____
Only a Southerner can show or point out to you the
general direction of "yonder."
_____
Only a Southerner knows exactly how long "directly" is --
as in: "Going to town, be back directly."
_____
Even Southern babies know that "Gimme some sugar" is not a
request for the white, granular sweet substance that sits in
a pretty little bowl in the middle of the table.
_____
All Southerners know exactly when "by and by" is. They might
not use the term, but they know the concept well.
_____
Only a Southerner knows instinctively that the best gesture
of solace for a neighbor who's got trouble is a plate of hot
fried chicken and a big bowl of cold potato salad. If the
neighbor's trouble is a real crisis, they also know to add
a large banana puddin'!
_____
Only Southerners grow up knowing the difference between
"right near" and "a right far piece." They also know that
"just down the road" can be 1 mile or 20.
_____
Only a Southerner, both knows and understands, the difference
between a redneck, a good ol' boy, and po' white trash.
_____
No true Southerner would ever assume that the car with the
flashing turn signal is actually going to make a turn.
_____
A Southerner knows that "fixin" can be used as a noun,
a verb, or an adverb.
_____
Only Southerners make friends while standing in lines. We
don't do "queues," we do "lines"; and when we're "in line,"
we talk to everybody!
_____
Put 100 Southerners in a room and half of them will discover
they're related, even if only by marriage.
_____
Southerners never refer to one person as "ya'll."
_____
Southerners know grits come from corn and how to eat them.
_____
Every Southerner knows tomatoes with eggs, bacon, grits,
and coffee are perfectly wonderful; that red eye gravy
is also a breakfast food; and that fried green tomatoes
are not a breakfast food.
_____
When you hear someone say, "Well, I caught myself lookin',"
you know you are in the presence of a genuine Southerner!
_____
Only true Southerners say "sweet tea" and "sweet milk." Sweet tea
indicates the need for sugar and lots of it -- we do not like our tea unsweetened. "Sweet milk" means you don't want buttermilk.
_____
And a true Southerner knows you don't scream obscenities at little
old ladies who drive 30 MPH on the freeway. You just say,
"Bless her heart" and go your own way.
_____
To those of you who're still a little embarrassed by your
Southerness: Take two tent revivals and a dose of sausage
gravy and call me in the morning. Bless your heart!
_____
And to those of you who are still having a hard time understanding
all this Southern stuff, bless your hearts, I hear they are fixin'
to have classes on Southernness as a second language!
_____
And for those that are not from the South but have lived here for a
long time, ya'll need a sign to hang on ya'lls front porch that
reads: "I aint from the South but I got here as fast as I could."
_____
Bless your hearts, ya'll have a blessed day!
English - Second Language
If you ever feel stupid, then just read on. If you've
learned to speak fluent English, you must be a genius!
This little treatise on the lovely language we share is
only for the brave. Peruse at your leisure, English lovers.
Reasons why the English language is so hard to learn:
1) The bandage was wound around the wound.
2) The farm was used to produce produce.
3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.
4) We must polish the Polish furniture.
5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.
6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.
7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was
time to present the present.
8) A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.
9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.
10) I did not object to the object.
11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid.
12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.
13) They were too close to the door to close it.
14) The buck does funny things when the does are present.
15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.
16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.
17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail
18) After a number of injections my jaw got number.
19) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.
20) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.
21) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?
There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger; neither
apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented
in England or French fries in France (Surprise!) Sweetmeats
are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat.
Quicksand works slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea
pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing,
grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham?
If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural
of booth beeth?
One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese? Doesn't it
seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend.
If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but
one of them, what do you call it? Is it an odd, or an end?
If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught? If a vegetarian
eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?
In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital?
Ship by truck and send cargo by ship?
Have noses that run and feet that smell?
How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same,
while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?
You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in
which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which
you fill in a form by filling it out, and in which, an
alarm goes off by going on.
English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects
the creativity of the human race, which, of course, is not a
race at all.
That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when
the lights are out, they are invisible.
P.S - Why doesn't "Buick" rhyme with "quick
learned to speak fluent English, you must be a genius!
This little treatise on the lovely language we share is
only for the brave. Peruse at your leisure, English lovers.
Reasons why the English language is so hard to learn:
1) The bandage was wound around the wound.
2) The farm was used to produce produce.
3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.
4) We must polish the Polish furniture.
5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.
6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.
7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was
time to present the present.
8) A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.
9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.
10) I did not object to the object.
11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid.
12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.
13) They were too close to the door to close it.
14) The buck does funny things when the does are present.
15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.
16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.
17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail
18) After a number of injections my jaw got number.
19) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.
20) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.
21) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?
There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger; neither
apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented
in England or French fries in France (Surprise!) Sweetmeats
are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat.
Quicksand works slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea
pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing,
grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham?
If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural
of booth beeth?
One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese? Doesn't it
seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend.
If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but
one of them, what do you call it? Is it an odd, or an end?
If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught? If a vegetarian
eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?
In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital?
Ship by truck and send cargo by ship?
Have noses that run and feet that smell?
How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same,
while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?
You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in
which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which
you fill in a form by filling it out, and in which, an
alarm goes off by going on.
English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects
the creativity of the human race, which, of course, is not a
race at all.
That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when
the lights are out, they are invisible.
P.S - Why doesn't "Buick" rhyme with "quick
The Divorce
An elderly man in Phoenix calls his son in New York
and says, "I hate to ruin your day, but I have to
tell you that your mother and I are divorcing;
forty-five years of misery is enough."
"Pop, what are you talking about," the son screams.
"We can't stand the sight of each other any longer,"
the old man says. "We're sick and tired of each other,
and I'm sick of talking about this, so you call your
sister in Chicago and tell her." And he hangs up.
Frantic, the son calls his sister, who explodes on the
phone. "Like Heck they're getting a divorce," she shouts.
"I'll take care of this."
She calls Phoenix immediately, and screams at the old man,
"You are NOT getting divorced! Don't do a single thing
until I get there. I'm calling my brother back and we'll
both be there tomorrow. Until then don't do a thing, DO
YOU HEAR ME?" And she hangs up.
The old man hangs up his phone and turns to his wife. "They're
coming for Thanksgiving and paying their own way.
and says, "I hate to ruin your day, but I have to
tell you that your mother and I are divorcing;
forty-five years of misery is enough."
"Pop, what are you talking about," the son screams.
"We can't stand the sight of each other any longer,"
the old man says. "We're sick and tired of each other,
and I'm sick of talking about this, so you call your
sister in Chicago and tell her." And he hangs up.
Frantic, the son calls his sister, who explodes on the
phone. "Like Heck they're getting a divorce," she shouts.
"I'll take care of this."
She calls Phoenix immediately, and screams at the old man,
"You are NOT getting divorced! Don't do a single thing
until I get there. I'm calling my brother back and we'll
both be there tomorrow. Until then don't do a thing, DO
YOU HEAR ME?" And she hangs up.
The old man hangs up his phone and turns to his wife. "They're
coming for Thanksgiving and paying their own way.
The Dysfunctional Section of a Hallmark Store
1. I always wanted to have someone to hold, someone
to love. Now that you've come into my life...
(Inside card) - I've changed my mind.
2. I must admit, you brought religion into my life...
(Inside card) - I never believed in Hell until I met you.
3. As the days go by, I think how lucky I am....
(Inside card) - That you're not here to ruin it for me.
4. Congratulations on your promotion. Before you go....
(Inside card) - Will you take the knife from my back?
You'll probably need it again.
5. Someday I hope to marry...
(Inside card) - Someone other than you.
6. Happy Birthday! You look great for your age....
(Inside card) - Almost lifelike!
7. When we were together, you said you'd die for me...
(Inside card) - Now we've broken up, I think it's time
to keep your promise.
8. We've been friends for a very long time...
(Inside card) - What do you say we stop?
9. I'm so miserable without you...
(Inside card) - It's almost like you're still here.
10. Congratulations on your new bundle of joy....
(Inside card) - Did you ever find out who the father was?
11. You are such a good friend. If we were on a sinking
ship and there was only one life jacket...
(Inside card) - I'd miss you terribly and think of you often.
12. Your friends and I wanted to do something special for your birthday...
(Inside card) - So we're having you put to sleep.
13. Happy Birthday, Uncle Dad!
(Available only in Alabama, Mississippi, and Arkansas)
14. Looking back over the years we've been together, I can't help but wonder...
(Inside card) - What was I thinking?
15. Congratulations on your wedding day!...
( Inside card) - Too bad no one likes your husband.
to love. Now that you've come into my life...
(Inside card) - I've changed my mind.
2. I must admit, you brought religion into my life...
(Inside card) - I never believed in Hell until I met you.
3. As the days go by, I think how lucky I am....
(Inside card) - That you're not here to ruin it for me.
4. Congratulations on your promotion. Before you go....
(Inside card) - Will you take the knife from my back?
You'll probably need it again.
5. Someday I hope to marry...
(Inside card) - Someone other than you.
6. Happy Birthday! You look great for your age....
(Inside card) - Almost lifelike!
7. When we were together, you said you'd die for me...
(Inside card) - Now we've broken up, I think it's time
to keep your promise.
8. We've been friends for a very long time...
(Inside card) - What do you say we stop?
9. I'm so miserable without you...
(Inside card) - It's almost like you're still here.
10. Congratulations on your new bundle of joy....
(Inside card) - Did you ever find out who the father was?
11. You are such a good friend. If we were on a sinking
ship and there was only one life jacket...
(Inside card) - I'd miss you terribly and think of you often.
12. Your friends and I wanted to do something special for your birthday...
(Inside card) - So we're having you put to sleep.
13. Happy Birthday, Uncle Dad!
(Available only in Alabama, Mississippi, and Arkansas)
14. Looking back over the years we've been together, I can't help but wonder...
(Inside card) - What was I thinking?
15. Congratulations on your wedding day!...
( Inside card) - Too bad no one likes your husband.
ATM Directions
A sign in the Bank Lobby reads: "Please note that this bank
is installing new "Drive-through" teller machines. Customers
using this new facility are requested to use the below
outlined procedures when accessing their accounts.
MALE & FEMALE procedures have been developed after months
of careful research.
MALE PROCEDURE:
1. Drive up to the cash machine.
2. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.
3. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.
4. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.
5. Drive off.
FEMALE PROCEDURE:
1. Drive up to cash machine.
2. Reverse and back up the required amount to align
car window with the machine.
3. Set parking brake, put the window down
4. Find handbag; remove all contents on to passenger seat to
locate card.
5. Turn the radio down.
6. Attempt to insert card into machine.
7. Open the car door to allow easy access to machine
due to its excessive distance from the vehicle.
8. Insert card.
9. Reinsert card the right way up.
10. Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN
written on the inside back page.
11. Enter PIN.
12. Press cancel and reenter correct PIN.
13. Enter amount of cash required.
14. Check make up in rear view mirror.
15. Retrieve cash and receipt.
16. Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place cash inside.
17. Place receipt in back of checkbook.
18. Recheck make-up again.
19. Drive forward 2 feet.
20. Reverse back to cash machine.
21. Retrieve card.
22. Re-empty hand bag, locate cardholder, and place
card into the slot provided.
23. Give appropriate one-fingered hand signal to irate
male driver lined up behind you.
24. Restart stalled engine and pull away.
25. Drive for 2 to 3 miles.
26. Release Parking Brake
is installing new "Drive-through" teller machines. Customers
using this new facility are requested to use the below
outlined procedures when accessing their accounts.
MALE & FEMALE procedures have been developed after months
of careful research.
MALE PROCEDURE:
1. Drive up to the cash machine.
2. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.
3. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.
4. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.
5. Drive off.
FEMALE PROCEDURE:
1. Drive up to cash machine.
2. Reverse and back up the required amount to align
car window with the machine.
3. Set parking brake, put the window down
4. Find handbag; remove all contents on to passenger seat to
locate card.
5. Turn the radio down.
6. Attempt to insert card into machine.
7. Open the car door to allow easy access to machine
due to its excessive distance from the vehicle.
8. Insert card.
9. Reinsert card the right way up.
10. Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN
written on the inside back page.
11. Enter PIN.
12. Press cancel and reenter correct PIN.
13. Enter amount of cash required.
14. Check make up in rear view mirror.
15. Retrieve cash and receipt.
16. Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place cash inside.
17. Place receipt in back of checkbook.
18. Recheck make-up again.
19. Drive forward 2 feet.
20. Reverse back to cash machine.
21. Retrieve card.
22. Re-empty hand bag, locate cardholder, and place
card into the slot provided.
23. Give appropriate one-fingered hand signal to irate
male driver lined up behind you.
24. Restart stalled engine and pull away.
25. Drive for 2 to 3 miles.
26. Release Parking Brake
Gives New Meaning To The Term "BAD A$$"
These pics came from a guy in AZ. Yes, the mule
killed the mountain lion. The lion had been
stalking them for the better part of the morning,
on the way out to a hunt. They were pretty sure it
was after one of the dogs. The cat ambushed them,
and the mule pictured tossed its rider and went into
attack (defense) mode, the horses scattered and shots
were fired but no one was sure if they hit the cat
or not. Unfortunately, it wasn't until it was almost
over that one of the guys started snapping pics. The
mule finally stomped the cougar to death after biting
and throwing it around like a rag doll. The dogs wouldn't
even come close until the mule settled down.
"
The cat was still alive here and trying to fight back...
killed the mountain lion. The lion had been
stalking them for the better part of the morning,
on the way out to a hunt. They were pretty sure it
was after one of the dogs. The cat ambushed them,
and the mule pictured tossed its rider and went into
attack (defense) mode, the horses scattered and shots
were fired but no one was sure if they hit the cat
or not. Unfortunately, it wasn't until it was almost
over that one of the guys started snapping pics. The
mule finally stomped the cougar to death after biting
and throwing it around like a rag doll. The dogs wouldn't
even come close until the mule settled down.
"
The cat was still alive here and trying to fight back...
The Fun Way To Clean Your Toilet
1. Put both lids of the toilet up and add 1/8 cup of pet shampoo to the water in the bowl.
2. Pick up the cat and soothe him while you carry him towards the bathroom.
3. In one smooth movement, put the cat in the toilet and close both lids. You may need to stand on the lid.
4. The cat will self agitate and make ample suds. Never mind the noises that come from the toilet, the cat is actually enjoying this.
5. Flush the toilet three or four times. This provides a "power-wash" and rinse".
6. Have someone open the front door of your home. Be sure that there are no people between the bathroom and the front door.
7. Stand behind the toilet as far as you can, and quickly lift both lids.
8. The cat will rocket out of the toilet, streak through the bathroom, and run outside where he will dry himself off.
9. Both the commode and the cat will be sparkling clean.
Sincerely,
The Dog
The bear says, "I'm NOT on drugs."
A bear walks into a bar in Billings,
Montana and sits down. He bangs on
the bar with his paw and demands a beer.
The bartender approaches and says, "We
don't serve beer to bears in bars in Billings."
The bear, becoming angry, demands again that
he be served a beer.
The bartender tells him again, more forcefully,
"We don't serve beer to belligerent bears in
bars in Billings."
The bear, very angry now, says, "If you don't
serve me a beer, I'm going to eat that lady
sitting at the end of the bar."
The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve beer
to belligerent, bully bears in bars in Billings"
The bear goes to the end of the bar and, as
promised, eats the woman. He comes back to
his seat and again demands a beer.
The bartender states, "Sorry, we don't serve beer
to belligerent, bully bears in bars in Billings
who are on drugs."
The bear says, "I'm NOT on drugs."
...........You're gonna love this.........
The bartender says, "You are now.
That was a barbitchyouate....
Montana and sits down. He bangs on
the bar with his paw and demands a beer.
The bartender approaches and says, "We
don't serve beer to bears in bars in Billings."
The bear, becoming angry, demands again that
he be served a beer.
The bartender tells him again, more forcefully,
"We don't serve beer to belligerent bears in
bars in Billings."
The bear, very angry now, says, "If you don't
serve me a beer, I'm going to eat that lady
sitting at the end of the bar."
The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve beer
to belligerent, bully bears in bars in Billings"
The bear goes to the end of the bar and, as
promised, eats the woman. He comes back to
his seat and again demands a beer.
The bartender states, "Sorry, we don't serve beer
to belligerent, bully bears in bars in Billings
who are on drugs."
The bear says, "I'm NOT on drugs."
...........You're gonna love this.........
The bartender says, "You are now.
That was a barbitchyouate....
One
One SONG can spark a moment
One FLOWER can wake the dream
One TREE can start a forest
One BIRD can herald spring
One SMILE begins a friendship
One HANDCLASP lifts a soul
One STAR can guide a ship at sea
One WORD can frame the goal
One VOTE can change a nation
One SUNBEAM lights a room
One CANDLE wipes out darkness
One LAUGH will conquer gloom
One STEP must start each journey
One WORD must start a prayer
One HOPE will raise our spirits
One TOUCH can show you care
One VOICE can speak with wisdom
One HEART can know what's true
One LIFE can make a difference
And that difference can be YOU.
-- Author Unknown
One FLOWER can wake the dream
One TREE can start a forest
One BIRD can herald spring
One SMILE begins a friendship
One HANDCLASP lifts a soul
One STAR can guide a ship at sea
One WORD can frame the goal
One VOTE can change a nation
One SUNBEAM lights a room
One CANDLE wipes out darkness
One LAUGH will conquer gloom
One STEP must start each journey
One WORD must start a prayer
One HOPE will raise our spirits
One TOUCH can show you care
One VOICE can speak with wisdom
One HEART can know what's true
One LIFE can make a difference
And that difference can be YOU.
-- Author Unknown
Monday, February 14, 2005
Good & Incredibly Wonderful
This story, like all really good stories, begins a long, long time ago, in the time before time, in a place very far away yet, very near. In this place and time, there was a little girl who existed only in the thoughts and dreams of the Spirit of Love and Life. The Spirit knew that one day this little girl would become as real as the love and thoughts that persisted within. And sure enough, just as the Spirit knew it would happen, the little girl was conceived. The Spirit gave her life, and knew that she was and always would be good and incredibly wonderful.
For a very long time her mommy carried the little girl within herself. The little girl liked being there, because it was warm and felt very safe. The in-dwelling Spirit made sure she received everything a little girl might need in order to be born. So it was a very good place to be. It wasn't perfect, because she could tell that sometimes mommy and daddy were very glad that she was there but at other times they weren't glad at all. Sometimes they acted as if she didn't even exist. It's sad to say, but mommies and daddies can be that way, sometimes. But the Spirit of Love and Life loved the little girl always and knew that she was and always would be good and incredibly wonderful.
Eventually the time came for her to leave this familiar place and begin a new adventure in the world. She was a beautiful baby girl and everyone "oooh'ed and "aaah'ed over her. And she was a perfect baby girl. You can tell when babies are perfect, because they do baby things. And she did all kinds of baby things. She learned really well. Soon she learned how to tell when others were pleased by her and when they were not. Sometimes she forgot that her job was to be a baby girl, and she thought that her job was to please others. But it never was! And sometimes she felt very loved, but sometimes she didn't. When she didn't, she felt very sad and afraid and even lonely. She needed big people to protect her. Some of the time they did. But there were times when they didn't, and there were even times when big people hurt her very much and she was scared. But the Spirit loved her and helped her to do what she needed to do to survive and to learn how to grow up in an imperfect world. The Spirit knew that she was and would always be good and incredibly wonderful. And the Spirit loved her and continued to see that she had all that she needed to continue her life, even though the baby girl didn't know it. Just the same, every now and then the baby girl would know, "I am good and incredibly wonderful."
At just the right time, the baby girl became a little girl. And she was a perfect little girl because she was and did all the things little girls are to be and do. That's what it means to be a perfect little girl, you know. But the world in which she lived was not perfect and there were times in which she was hurt terribly, sometimes even by those who were supposed to love and protect her. There were times in which she felt loved by mommy and daddy and other important big people, but sometimes she didn't. Then she was very sad, frightened, and lonely.
Once again the little girl would become confused about what she was and what she was supposed to be and do. Sometimes she thought she was supposed to be like big people, but she wasn't. Sometimes she forgot she was really supposed to be a little girl and do little girl things. Much of the time she thought she was supposed to make other people happy. There were even moments when she thought she was a bad girl, because others weren't happy or because they hurt her. But that was not true. She was a very good little girl. Really, she was and always would be good and incredibly wonderful. She wanted someone to love and protect her, and there were times when it seemed that no one did. The Spirit loved her and knew that she was and would always be good and incredibly wonderful. The Spirit always saw to it that she had all that she needed to continue her life, even though the little girl didn't know it. But from time to time the little girl would hear from within herself, "I am good and incredibly wonderful."
When she became a big girl, she was a perfect big girl, because she was and did all the things big girls are to be and do. And the Spirit loved her and continued to provide all the resources she needed - even though she didn't know it. More and more often she became caught up in being and doing what others wanted and expected of her. She longed to become a young woman who could be and do what she wanted to be and do, if only she could remember what that was. If ever there was a time in which she was not perfect, it was when she was trying to be somebody or something other than herself. But even that was sometimes a gift of the Spirit, because it was one of the resources she needed in order to continue her life. There were times when she was very sad, lonely, and frightened. She wondered if she could ever be loved or if she would ever find someone to protect her. All the while, the Spirit loved her and knew that she was and always would be good and incredibly wonderful. As always, the Spirit saw that she had all that she needed to continue her life. The big girl wondered about the voice she sometimes heard from within herself saying, "I am good and incredibly wonderful."
No one knows the time at which a big girl becomes a woman. But at just the right time it happened. And she was beautiful and perfect as women are. But she didn't know it! Because she didn't know it, life was usually very confusing. She tried her best to do and be what she thought she was supposed to do and be. She didn't know that she was already perfect because she was what she was: a beautiful woman conceived and nurtured by the Spirit of Love and Life. She was sure she needed someone to protect her from the dangers of life, because even as a woman, she still found that she was sometimes hurt by those she had hoped would love and protect her. She did not know that she was courageous and powerful in and of herself. As time passed, she came to know that her painful past contributed to her turbulent present. She was confident that the time had come for her to find a way to be freed from the invisible chains that had kept her captive for so long. It was then that she discovered within herself the courage and power she needed to begin the healing process. She knew she must find out about herself, about who she was and who she was to be. And she wanted to know more about this hunch she had about herself, the hunch that told her, "I am good and incredibly wonderful." Only the courageous begin the journey that leads to self-discovery.
And this woman is very courageous, good and incredibly wonderful.
Her journey began by visiting some very important people, the most important people in her life. First she visited the baby girl she was before she was born. She saw the Spirit loving and giving life to that yet to be born child. The Spirit nurtured her; and she knew that she is very good and incredibly wonderful.
Then she visited the baby girl that she once had been and saw that she was a perfect baby, a baby whom she could love. And so she loved that baby girl. She held the baby girl and told her how much she loved her and that she was a perfect baby girl. She gave the baby girl all the love she would ever need. And she knew that she is good and incredibly wonderful.
Next, she visited the little girl that had been so hurt, frightened, and alone. Immediately she understood that she was a perfect little girl, good and incredibly wonderful. She loved her and explained that she is perfect just the way she is. She explained that big people sometimes do cruel, stupid things. Little girls are just little girls and that's the perfect thing for them to be. And she told her how proud she is of her for the way in which she had come through such terrible times. She saw that the little girl had been truly resourceful in order to survive. And she knew that she is good and incredibly wonderful.
At last she took the baby girl and the little girl to visit the big girl she had been not so very long before. They played together, and talked, and cried, and hugged, and did all the things that needed to be done to show their love and respect for each other. They told each other how wonderful and resourceful they had been and that each of them is and always will be good and incredibly wonderful. And then each in turn told the woman how proud they are of her, how proud they are to be a part of her. And they each knew that they are loved and are lovable. They know they love each other and that the ever present Spirit loves them. They are perfect just the way they are. Each affirmed that indeed, "I am good and incredibly wonderful." And as they hugged, they became one within the woman, each contributing to who she is, each an important part of who she is to become.
On that day, the day in which she came together within herself, the day in which she could say out loud, "I am good and incredibly wonderful," she began the transforming journey toward becoming a woman of wisdom. The woman of wisdom, lives in and by the power of the Spirit of Love and Life. She knows wondrous things and is a life giving force to those who recognize and value her for who she is. She is no longer destroyed by the cruel and shameful things that have happened or that might happen to her, for she is free to act and to be herself, to be true to her own spirit. She can relate to whomever she chooses in ways she chooses. She no longer needs anyone to protect her. She is healer and lover of herself and of all who open themselves to her. She is no longer driven by fear, because she knows she is resourceful and responsible only for herself. Her own resourcefulness, self-worth, and the presence of the indwelling Spirit enable her to live peacefully in an imperfect world. The world's imperfections have been overcome. And she knows that she shall live eternally. For she is powerful! She is invincible! She is good and incredibly wonderful!
by Larry R. Wells
For a very long time her mommy carried the little girl within herself. The little girl liked being there, because it was warm and felt very safe. The in-dwelling Spirit made sure she received everything a little girl might need in order to be born. So it was a very good place to be. It wasn't perfect, because she could tell that sometimes mommy and daddy were very glad that she was there but at other times they weren't glad at all. Sometimes they acted as if she didn't even exist. It's sad to say, but mommies and daddies can be that way, sometimes. But the Spirit of Love and Life loved the little girl always and knew that she was and always would be good and incredibly wonderful.
Eventually the time came for her to leave this familiar place and begin a new adventure in the world. She was a beautiful baby girl and everyone "oooh'ed and "aaah'ed over her. And she was a perfect baby girl. You can tell when babies are perfect, because they do baby things. And she did all kinds of baby things. She learned really well. Soon she learned how to tell when others were pleased by her and when they were not. Sometimes she forgot that her job was to be a baby girl, and she thought that her job was to please others. But it never was! And sometimes she felt very loved, but sometimes she didn't. When she didn't, she felt very sad and afraid and even lonely. She needed big people to protect her. Some of the time they did. But there were times when they didn't, and there were even times when big people hurt her very much and she was scared. But the Spirit loved her and helped her to do what she needed to do to survive and to learn how to grow up in an imperfect world. The Spirit knew that she was and would always be good and incredibly wonderful. And the Spirit loved her and continued to see that she had all that she needed to continue her life, even though the baby girl didn't know it. Just the same, every now and then the baby girl would know, "I am good and incredibly wonderful."
At just the right time, the baby girl became a little girl. And she was a perfect little girl because she was and did all the things little girls are to be and do. That's what it means to be a perfect little girl, you know. But the world in which she lived was not perfect and there were times in which she was hurt terribly, sometimes even by those who were supposed to love and protect her. There were times in which she felt loved by mommy and daddy and other important big people, but sometimes she didn't. Then she was very sad, frightened, and lonely.
Once again the little girl would become confused about what she was and what she was supposed to be and do. Sometimes she thought she was supposed to be like big people, but she wasn't. Sometimes she forgot she was really supposed to be a little girl and do little girl things. Much of the time she thought she was supposed to make other people happy. There were even moments when she thought she was a bad girl, because others weren't happy or because they hurt her. But that was not true. She was a very good little girl. Really, she was and always would be good and incredibly wonderful. She wanted someone to love and protect her, and there were times when it seemed that no one did. The Spirit loved her and knew that she was and would always be good and incredibly wonderful. The Spirit always saw to it that she had all that she needed to continue her life, even though the little girl didn't know it. But from time to time the little girl would hear from within herself, "I am good and incredibly wonderful."
When she became a big girl, she was a perfect big girl, because she was and did all the things big girls are to be and do. And the Spirit loved her and continued to provide all the resources she needed - even though she didn't know it. More and more often she became caught up in being and doing what others wanted and expected of her. She longed to become a young woman who could be and do what she wanted to be and do, if only she could remember what that was. If ever there was a time in which she was not perfect, it was when she was trying to be somebody or something other than herself. But even that was sometimes a gift of the Spirit, because it was one of the resources she needed in order to continue her life. There were times when she was very sad, lonely, and frightened. She wondered if she could ever be loved or if she would ever find someone to protect her. All the while, the Spirit loved her and knew that she was and always would be good and incredibly wonderful. As always, the Spirit saw that she had all that she needed to continue her life. The big girl wondered about the voice she sometimes heard from within herself saying, "I am good and incredibly wonderful."
No one knows the time at which a big girl becomes a woman. But at just the right time it happened. And she was beautiful and perfect as women are. But she didn't know it! Because she didn't know it, life was usually very confusing. She tried her best to do and be what she thought she was supposed to do and be. She didn't know that she was already perfect because she was what she was: a beautiful woman conceived and nurtured by the Spirit of Love and Life. She was sure she needed someone to protect her from the dangers of life, because even as a woman, she still found that she was sometimes hurt by those she had hoped would love and protect her. She did not know that she was courageous and powerful in and of herself. As time passed, she came to know that her painful past contributed to her turbulent present. She was confident that the time had come for her to find a way to be freed from the invisible chains that had kept her captive for so long. It was then that she discovered within herself the courage and power she needed to begin the healing process. She knew she must find out about herself, about who she was and who she was to be. And she wanted to know more about this hunch she had about herself, the hunch that told her, "I am good and incredibly wonderful." Only the courageous begin the journey that leads to self-discovery.
And this woman is very courageous, good and incredibly wonderful.
Her journey began by visiting some very important people, the most important people in her life. First she visited the baby girl she was before she was born. She saw the Spirit loving and giving life to that yet to be born child. The Spirit nurtured her; and she knew that she is very good and incredibly wonderful.
Then she visited the baby girl that she once had been and saw that she was a perfect baby, a baby whom she could love. And so she loved that baby girl. She held the baby girl and told her how much she loved her and that she was a perfect baby girl. She gave the baby girl all the love she would ever need. And she knew that she is good and incredibly wonderful.
Next, she visited the little girl that had been so hurt, frightened, and alone. Immediately she understood that she was a perfect little girl, good and incredibly wonderful. She loved her and explained that she is perfect just the way she is. She explained that big people sometimes do cruel, stupid things. Little girls are just little girls and that's the perfect thing for them to be. And she told her how proud she is of her for the way in which she had come through such terrible times. She saw that the little girl had been truly resourceful in order to survive. And she knew that she is good and incredibly wonderful.
At last she took the baby girl and the little girl to visit the big girl she had been not so very long before. They played together, and talked, and cried, and hugged, and did all the things that needed to be done to show their love and respect for each other. They told each other how wonderful and resourceful they had been and that each of them is and always will be good and incredibly wonderful. And then each in turn told the woman how proud they are of her, how proud they are to be a part of her. And they each knew that they are loved and are lovable. They know they love each other and that the ever present Spirit loves them. They are perfect just the way they are. Each affirmed that indeed, "I am good and incredibly wonderful." And as they hugged, they became one within the woman, each contributing to who she is, each an important part of who she is to become.
On that day, the day in which she came together within herself, the day in which she could say out loud, "I am good and incredibly wonderful," she began the transforming journey toward becoming a woman of wisdom. The woman of wisdom, lives in and by the power of the Spirit of Love and Life. She knows wondrous things and is a life giving force to those who recognize and value her for who she is. She is no longer destroyed by the cruel and shameful things that have happened or that might happen to her, for she is free to act and to be herself, to be true to her own spirit. She can relate to whomever she chooses in ways she chooses. She no longer needs anyone to protect her. She is healer and lover of herself and of all who open themselves to her. She is no longer driven by fear, because she knows she is resourceful and responsible only for herself. Her own resourcefulness, self-worth, and the presence of the indwelling Spirit enable her to live peacefully in an imperfect world. The world's imperfections have been overcome. And she knows that she shall live eternally. For she is powerful! She is invincible! She is good and incredibly wonderful!
by Larry R. Wells
Valentine's Day
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