Happy New Years

Picture of the Day

Thinking About Going Out???

Merry Christmas

Picture of the Day

T'was the Eve of Midwinter

There were hot mountain oysters and road-kill pate

And spotted-owl kidneys, and wombat flambe.

The circle was cast and the herbs had been smoked

In the hopes that the Goddess would soon be invoked.

"I was just sitting down with my vibrating phallus,"

And a good book," she muttered. "You bitches are callous.

I came when you called, over all my objections,

And got lost in the woods--you give lousy directions."

"You turkeys invoked me, now look at my dress

My period's late, and I've got PMS."

She cursed and she muttered, she looked like a wreck

The unicorns whimpered, and shat on the deck.

We gave her some weed and we got her some grub,

We brought her clean towels and she soaked in the tub.

Then she rose, wet and dripping, and gave us her blessing

And jumped in her chariot, without even dressing!

"On Isis! On Eris! Oya and Astarte!

On Ishtar! Inanna! Kali and Hecate!"

We heard her exclaim as she climbed through the air,

"Thank Goddess there's only eight Sabbats a year!"

Originally posted:  Womyn of Spirit Yahoo Group 

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/womyn-of-spirit/

Top Ten Favorite Christmas Songs

Wreck the Halls!

Jingle Balls

Fluffy, the Snowman

Silent Mice

Oh, Come All Ye Fishful

The First Meow

I Saw Mommy Hiss at Santa Claus

Joy to the Curled

Have Yourself a Furry Little Christmas

Up on the Mousetop

What Color Nail Polish Best Fits You?

Your Nail Polish Color is Red

How you're unique: You have an incredible eye for style and art.  Why your style rocks: You are classic and classy - and that's hot!  What this color says about you: "I'm smart, sassy, and sexy. And I know it."

What Color Nail Polish Best Fits You?

Life's Lessons

ONE. Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully.


TWO. Marry a man/woman you love to talk to. As you get older, their conversational skills will be as important as any other.


THREE. Don't believe all you hear, spend all you have or sleep all you want.


FOUR. When you say, "I love you," mean it.


FIVE. When you say, "I'm sorry," look the person in the eye.


SIX. Be engaged at least six months before you get married.


SEVEN. Believe in love at first sight.


EIGHT. Never laugh at anyone's dreams. People who don't have dreams don't have much.


NINE. Love deeply and passionately. You might get hurt but it's the only way to live life completely.


TEN.. In disagreements, fight fairly. No name calling.


ELEVEN. Don't judge people by their relatives.


TWELVE. Talk slowly but think quickly.


THIRTEEN. When someone asks you a question you don't want to answer, smile and ask, "Why do you want to know?"


FOURTEEN. Remember that great love and great achievements involve great risk.


FIFTEEN. Say "bless you" when you hear someone sneeze.


SIXTEEN. When you lose, don't lose the lesson


SEVENTEEN. Remember the three R's: Respect for self; Respect for others; and responsibility for all your actions.


EIGHTEEN. Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship.


NINETEEN. When you realize you've made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.


TWENTY. Smile when picking up the phone. The caller will hear it in your voice.


TWENTY-ONE. Spend some time alone.

Happy Yule

The 12 Days of Christmas 2 Points of View

On the twelfth day of Christmas my kitten gave to me...


12 minutes purring


11 broken knick-knacks


10 well-chewed ribbons


9 furry hairballs


8 midnight frolics


7 soggy cat toys


6 piles of cat poop


five ... headless ... mice


4 shredded chairs


3 feathers


2 vet bills


and a toppled over Christmas tree


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


On the twelfth day of Christmas my Mistress gave to me...


12 cans of tuna


11 furry cat toys


10 shiny ribbons


9 cat dancers


8 bowls of cream


7 goldfish swimming


6 litter boxes


five ... catnip ... mice


4 scratching posts


3 cat treats


2 cozy beds


and a deluxe model new cat tree

Men Vs Women

WOMAN'S PERFECT BREAKFAST...
*She's sitting at the table with her gourmet coffee.
*Her son is on the cover of the Wheaties box.
*Her daughter is on the cover of Business Week.
*Her boyfriend is on the cover of Playgirl.
*And her husband is on the back of the milk carton.



WOMEN'S REVENGE...
"Cash, check or charge?" I asked, after folding items the woman wished to purchase. As she fumbled for her wallet I noticed a remote control for a television set in her purse. "So, do you always carry your TV remote?" I asked. "No," she replied, " but my husband refused to come shopping with me, and I figured this was the most evil thing I could do to him legally."



UNDERSTANDING WOMEN...
(A MAN'S PERSPECTIVE)I know I'm not going to understand women. I'll never understand how you can take boiling hot wax,pour it onto your upper thigh, rip the hair out by the root, and still be afraid of a spider.



MARRIAGE SEMINAR...
While attending a Marriage Seminar dealing with communication, Tom and his wife Grace listened to the instructor, "It is essential that husbands and wives know each other's likes and dislikes." He addressed the man, "Can you name your wife's favorite flower?" Tom leaned over, touched his wife's arm gently and whispered, "It's Pillsbury, isn't it?



CIGARETTES AND TAMPONS...
A man walks into a pharmacy and wanders up and down the aisles. The sales girl notices him and asks him if she can help him. He answers that he is looking for a box of tampons for his wife. She directs him down the correct aisle. A few minutes later, he deposits a huge bag of cotton balls and a ball of string on the counter. She says, confused, "Sir, I thought you were looking for some tampons for your wife? He answers, " You see, it's like this, yesterday, I sent my wife to the store to get me a carton of cigarettes, and she came back with a tin of tobacco and some rolling papers; cause it's sooo-ooo--oo-ooo much cheaper. So, I figure if I have to roll my own...so does she. (I figure this guy is the one on the milk carton!)



WIFE VS. HUSBAND...
A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted to concede their position. As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically, "Relatives of yours?" "Yep," the wife replied, "in-laws."



WORDS...
A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use a day...30,000 to a man's 15,000. The wife replied, "The reason has to be because we have to repeat everything to men...The husband then turned to his wife and asked, "What?"



CREATION...
A man said to his wife one day, "I don't know how you can be so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time. "The wife responded, "Allow me to explain. God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me; God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you!



WHO DOES WHAT...
A man and his wife were having an argument about who should brew the coffee each morning. The wife said, "You should do it, because you get up first, and then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee." The husband said, " You are in charge of cooking around here and you should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my coffee." Wife replies, "No, you should do it, and besides, it is in the Bible that the man should do the coffee." Husband replies, "I can't believe that, show me." So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament and showed him at the top of several pages, that it indeed says.........."HEBREWS"



THE SILENT TREATMENT...
A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment. Suddenly, the man realized that the next day, he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight. Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper, "Please wake me at 5:00 AM." He left it where he knew she would find it. The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn't wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed. The paper said, "It is 5:00 AM. Wake up."



Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests. God may have created man before woman, but there is always a rough draft before the masterpiece.

Things You'll Never Hear A Redneck Say:

30. Oh I just couldn't - she's only sixteen.
29. I'll take Shakespeare for $1000, Alex.
28. Duct tape won't fix that.
27. Come to think of it, I'll have a Heineken.
26. We don't keep firearms in this house.
25. You can't feed that to the dog.
24. No kids in the back of the pickup, it's just not safe.
23. Wrestling's fake.
22. We're vegetarians.
21. Do you think my gut is too big?
20. I'll have grapefruit and yogurt instead of biscuits and gravy.
19. Honey, we don't need another dog.
18. Who gives a damn about who won the Civil War?
17. Give me the small bag of pork rinds.
16. Too many deer heads detract from the decor.
15. I just couldn't find a thing at Wal-Mart today.
14. Trim the fat off that steak.
13. Cappuccino tastes better than espresso
12. The tires on that truck are too big.
11. I've got it all on the C: drive.
10. Unsweetened tea tastes better.
09. My fiancé, Bobbie Jo, is registered at Tiffany's
08. I've got two cases of Zima for the Super Bowl.
07. Checkmate.
06. She's too young to be wearing a bikini.
05. Hey, here's an episode of "Hee Haw" that we haven't seen.
04. I don't have a favorite college team.
03. You All.
02. Those shorts ought to be a little longer, Betty Mae.


And the #1 thing you never hear a Southern Boy say:
01. Nope, no more, JackDaniels for me. I'm driving.

Christmas Songs For The Mentally Disturbed

Christmas Songs For The Mentally Disturbed


SCHIZOPHRENIA: Do you Hear What I Hear?


MULTIPLE PERSONALITY DISORDER: We Three Queens Disoriented Are


DEMENTIA: I Think I'll Be Home for Christmas


NARCISSISTIC: Hark the Herald Angels Sing About Me


MANIC: Deck the Halls and Walls and House and Lawn and Streets and Stores and Office and Town and Cars and Busses and Trucks and Trees and Fire Hydrants and.....


PARANOID: Santa Claus is Coming to Get Me.


PERSONALITY DISORDER: You Better Watch Out, I'm Gonna Cry, I'm Gonna Pout, Maybe I'll tell you Why.


DEPRESSION: Silent Anhedonia, Holy Anhedonia, All is Flat, All is Lonely.


OBSESSIVE-COMPULSIVE DISORDER:
Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock,
Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock,
Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock,
Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock,
Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock,
Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock,
Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock,
Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock,
Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock,
Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock,
Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock,
Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock,
Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock,
Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock,
Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock,
Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock,
Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock,
Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock,
Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock,
Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock ........
....(better start again)


PASSIVE-AGGRESSIVE PERSONALITY: On the First Day of Christmas My True Love Gave to Me (and then took it all away).


BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER: Thoughts of Roasting on an Open Fire.

Santa's Stressful Christmas

One particular Christmas season a long time ago,
Santa was getting ready for his annual trip...
but there were problems everywhere.


Four of his elves got sick, and the trainee elves
did not produce the toys as fast as the regular ones
so Santa was beginning to feel the pressure of
being behind schedule.


Then Mrs. Claus told Santa that
her mom was coming to visit.
This stressed Santa even more.


When he went to harness the reindeer, he found that
three of them were about to give birth and two had
jumped the fence and were out, heaven knows where.


More stress.


Then when he began to load the sleigh one of the
boards cracked and the toy bag fell to the ground
and scattered the toys.


So, frustrated, Santa went into the house for a cup of
coffee and a shot of whiskey. When he went to the cupboard,
he discovered that the elves had hid the liquor and there
was nothing to drink. In his frustration, he accidentally
dropped the coffee pot and it broke into hundreds of little
pieces all over the kitchen floor. He went to get the broom
and found that mice had eaten the straw it was made from.


Just then the doorbell rang and Santa cussed on his way
to the door. He opened the door and there was a little
angel with a great big Christmas tree The angel said,
very cheerfully, "Merry Christmas Santa. Isn't it just a
lovely day? I have a beautiful tree for you. Isn't it
just a lovely tree? Where would you like me to stick it?"


Thus began the tradition of the little angel on
top of the Christmas tree.


I was laughing so hard I was crying! Enjoy!!!

The Hormone Warning...I Mean Funnies!

THE HORMONE WARNING: The Hormone Hostage knows that there are days in the month when all a man has to do is open his mouth and he takes his life in his own hands!


This is a handy guide that should be as common as a driver's license in the wallet of every man!


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


DANGEROUS: What's for dinner?


SAFER: Can I help you with dinner?


SAFEST: Where would you like to go for dinner?


ULTRASAFE: Have some chocolate.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


DANGEROUS: Are you wearing that?


SAFER: Wow, you look good in brown.


SAFEST: WOW! Look at you!


ULTRASAFE: Have some chocolate.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


DANGEROUS: What are you so worked up about?


SAFER: Could we be overreacting?


SAFEST: Here's my paycheck.


ULTRASAFE: Have some chocolate.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


DANGEROUS: Should you be eating that?


SAFER: You know, there are a lot of apples left.


SAFEST: Can I get you a glass of wine with that?


ULTRASAFE: Have some chocolate.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


DANGEROUS: What did you do all day?


SAFER: I hope you didn't over-do it today.


SAFEST: I've always loved you in that robe!


ULTRASAFE: Have some more chocolate.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


13 Things PMS Stands For


1. Pass My Shotgun


2. Psychotic Mood Shift


3. Perpetual Munching Spree


4. Puffy Mid-Section


5. People Make me Sick


6. Provide Me with Sweets


7. Pardon My Sobbing


8. Pimples May Surface


9. Pass My Sweatpants


10. Pissy Mood Syndrome


11. Plainly; Men Suck


12. Pack My Stuff


And my favorite one...


13. Potential Murder Suspect


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Pass this on to all of your hormonal friends and those who might need a good Laugh! Or men who need a warning. And remember: Money talks....But Chocolate sings :-)

Christmas Truce...

Mayonnaise Jar and the Coffee

When things in your life seem almost too much to handle, when 24 hours in a day are not enough, remember the mayonnaise jar... and the coffee...


A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him. When the class began,
wordlessly, he picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls.


He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was.


So the professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly.
The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls. He then asked the students again if the jar was
full. They agreed it was.


The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled
up everything else. He asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with a unanimous "yes."


The professor then produced two cups of coffee from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar, effectively filling the empty space between the sand. The students laughed.


"Now," said the professor, as the laughter subsided, "I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life."


The golf balls are the important things - family, your children, your health, your friends, and your favorite
passions - things that if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full.


The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house, and your car.


The sand is everything else - the small stuff.


"If you put the sand into the jar first," he continued, "there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls. The
same goes for life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff, you will never have room for the
things that are important.


Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Play with your children. Take time to get
medical checkups. Take your wife out to dinner. Maybe even play another 18. There's always time to clean
the house and fix the disposal."


Take care of the golf balls first, the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand."


One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the coffee represented.


The professor smiled. "I'm glad you asked. It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem, there's always room for a cup of coffee with a friend."

A Favorite Fractal

Mindlessly Melted

Kids View of Love

KIDS ARE SO GREAT!

Do you want to know what true Love is? What does Love mean?

A group of professional people posed this question to a group of 4 to 8 year-olds,"What does love mean?" The answers they got were broader and deeper than anyone could have imagined. See what you think:

~~~
"When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn't bend over and paint her toenails anymore. So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when his hands got arthritis too. That's love." Rebecca- age 8
~~~
When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You just know that your name is safe
in their mouth." Billy - age 4
~~~
"Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologne and they go out and smell each
other." Karl - age 5
~~~
"Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your French fries without making them give
you any of theirs." Chrissy - age 6
~~~
"Love is what makes you smile when you're tired." Terri - age 4
~~~
"Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before giving it to him, to make sure the taste is OK." Danny - age 7
~~~
"Love is when you kiss all the time. Then when you get tired of kissing, you still want to be together and you
talk more. My Mommy and Daddy are like that. They look gross when they kiss" Emily - age 8
~~~
"Love is what's in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and listen." Bobby - age 7 (Wow!)
~~~
"If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend who you hate," Nikka - age 6 (we need a few million more Nikka's on this planet)
~~~
"Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it everyday." Noelle - age 7
~~~
"Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still friends even after they know
each other so well." Tommy - age 6
~~~
"During my piano recital, I was on a stage and I was scared. I looked at all the people watching me and
saw my daddy waving and smiling. He was the only one doing that. I wasn't scared anymore." Cindy - age 8
~~~
"My mommy loves me more than anybody. You don't see anyone else kissing me to sleep at night." Clare - age 6
~~~
"Love is when Mommy gives Daddy the best piece of chicken." Elaine - age ?
~~~
"Love is when Mommy sees Daddy smelly and sweaty and still says he is handsomer than Robert Redford."
Chris - age 7
~~~
"Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone all day." Mary Ann - age 4
~~~
"I know my older sister loves me because she gives me all her old clothes and has to go
out and buy new ones." Lauren - age 4
~~~
"When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down and little stars come out of you."
(what an image) Karen - age 7
~~~
"Love is when Mommy sees Daddy on the toilet and she doesn't think it's gross." Mark - age 6
~~~
"You really shouldn't say 'I love you' unless you mean it. But if you mean it, you should say
it a lot. People forget." Jessica - age 8
~~~
And the final one-Author and lecturer Leo Buscaglia once talked about a contest he was asked to judge. The
purpose of the contest was to find the most caring child.

The winner was a four year old child whose next door neighbor was an elderly gentleman who had recently lost his wife. Upon seeing the man cry, the little boy went into the old gentleman's yard, climbed onto his lap,
and just sat there. When his Mother asked what he had said to the neighbor, the little boy said, "Nothing,
I just helped him cry"

Best Christmas Cookie Recipe Ever

Christmas Cookies:
1 cup of water
1 tsp baking soda
1 cup of sugar
1 tsp salt
1 cup of brown sugar
lemon juice
4 large eggs
1 cup nuts
2 cups of dried fruit
1 pitcher of Long Island Iced Tea


Sample the Long Island Iced Tea to check quality. Take a large bowl, check the Long Island Iced Tea again to be sure it is of the highest quality, pour one level cup and drink.


Turn on the electric mixer...Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl.


Add one teaspoon of sugar...Beat again. At this point it's best to make sure the LIT is still
OK, try another cup .. just in case. Turn off the mixerer thingy. Break 2 leggs and add to the bowl
and chuck in the cup of dried fruit.


Pick the frigging fruit off floor... Mix on the turner. If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers just pry it loose with a drewscriver. Sample the LIT to check for tonsisticity.


Next, sift two cups of salt, or something. Who giveshz a sheet. Check the LIT. Now shift the lemon juice and strain your nuts.


Add one table. Add a spoon of sugar, or somefink. Whatever you can find.


Greash the oven. Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to fall over. Don't forget to beat off the turner. Finally, throw the bowl through the window, finish the pitcher and make sure to put the stove in the dishwasher.


CHERRY MISTMAS

* Sparkle Snow Paint *

Ingredients:
1/2 cup flour
1/2 cup salt
1/2 cup water


Mix together and put in a squeeze bottle. Squeeze doughy paint out on to black construction paper.
Make anything snowy, snowflakes, snowmen, - we made snow covered mountains with the moon and northern lights. Let dry thoroughly and it will sparkle. May also be painted (when dry) and allowed to dry again. This is a great 3 dimensional effect for snow.

Things To Know & Cleaning Tips

1. Budweiser beer conditions the hair

2. Pam cooking spray will dry finger nail polish

3. Cool whip will condition your hair in 15 minutes

4. Mayonnaise will KILL LICE, it will also condition your hair

5. Elmer's Glue - paint on your face, allow it to dry, peel off and see the dead skin and blackheads

6. Shiny Hair - use brewed Lipton Tea

7. Sunburn - empty a large jar of Nestea into your bath water

8. Minor burn - Colgate or Crest toothpaste

9. Burn your tongue? Put sugar On it!

10. Arthritis? WD-40 Spray and rub in, kill insect stings too

11. Bee stings - meat tenderizer

12. Chigger bite - Preparation H

13. Puffy eyes - Preparation H

14. Paper cut - crazy glue or chap stick (glue is used instead of sutures at most hospitals)

15. Stinky feet - Jell-O!

16. Athletes feet - cornstarch

17. Fungus on toenails or fingernails - Vicks vapor rub

18. Kool aid To clean dishwasher pipes. Just put in the detergent section and run a cycle, it will also clean a toilet. (Wow, and we drink this stuff)

19. Kool Aid can be used as a dye in paint also Kool Aid in Dannon Plain yogurt as a finger paint, your kids will love it and it won't hurt them if they eat it!

20. Peanut butter - will get scratches out of CD's! Wipe off with acoffee filter paper

21. Sticking bicycle chain - Pam no-stick cooking spray

22. Pam will also remove paint, and grease from your hands! Keep a can in your garage for your hubby

23. Peanut butter will remove ink from the face of dolls

24. When the doll clothes are hard to put on, sprinkle with corn starch and watch them slide on

25. Heavy dandruff - pour on the vinegar!

26. Body paint - Crisco mixed with food coloring. Heat the Crisco in the microwave, pour in to an empty film container and mix with the food color of your choice!

27. Tie Dye T-shirt - mix a solution of Kool Aid in a container, tie a rubber band around a section of the T-shirt and soak

28. Preserving a newspaper clipping - large bottle of club soda and cup of milk of magnesia, Soak for 20 min. and let dry, will last for many years!

29. A Slinky will hold toast and CD's!

30. To keep goggles and glasses from fogging, coat with Colgate toothpaste

31. Wine stains, pour on the Morton salt And watch it absorb into the salt.

32. To remove wax - Take a paper towel and iron it over the wax stain, it will absorb into the towel.

33. Remove labels off glassware etc. rub with Peanut butter!

34. Baked on food - fill container with water, get a Bounce paper softener and the static from the Bounce Towel will cause the baked on food to adhere to it. Soak overnight. Also; you can use 2 Efferdent
tablets, Soak overnight!

35. Crayon on the wall - Colgate Toothpaste and brush it!

36. Dirty grout - Listerine

37. Stains on clothes - Colgate

38. Grass stains - Karo Syrup

39. Grease Stains - Coca Cola, It will also remove grease stains from the driveway overnight. We know it will take corrosion from car batteries!

40. Fleas in your carpet? 20 Mule Team Borax- Sprinkle and let stand for 24 hours. Maybe this will work if you get them back again.

41. To keep FRESH FLOWERS longer Add a little Clorox, or 2 Bayer aspirin, Or just use 7-up instead of water.

42. When you go to buy bread in the grocery store, have you ever wondered which is the freshest, so you "squeeze" for freshness or softness? Did you know that bread is delivered fresh to the stores five days a week? Monday, Tuesday, Thursday, Friday and Saturday. Each day has a different color twist tie. They are: Monday = Blue, Tuesday = Green, Thursday = Red, Friday = White and Saturday = Yellow. So if today was Thursday, you would want red twist tie; not white which is Fridays (almost a week old)! The colors go alphabetically by color Blue- Green - Red – White - Yellow, Monday through Saturday. Very easy to remember. I thought this was interesting. I looked in the grocery store and the bread wrappers DO have different twist ties, and even the ones with the plastic clips have different colors. You learn something new
everyday! Enjoy fresh bread when you buy bread with the right color on the day you are shopping.

Pass this information on to friends so they can be informed also.

Who I Am

I am not my hair, my eyes, my nose or my mouth. I am not my skin or the shape of any of my body
parts. I am not the IQ of my brain.

I am not the sound of my voice or the volume of my laughter. I am not my strengths or any
of my weaknesses. I am not the level of my skills.

The temple of my physical makeup is a culmination of genetics. It reveals nothing about the person
who resides within. I take no credit or point no blame for the way I look. My temple is perfect,
as is.

This body is not who I am. It is an exquisitely perfect dwelling for my soul. Everything about it is exactly as it should be. No other, anywhere, ever, could serve my soul as well.

I am not anything you can see with your eyes or touch with your hands. Should you judge me by that criteria, you will never know me.

I am not a dumping ground for bias that's based on a man-made standard, and I do not accept the prejudice it creates.

I am a union of body, mind and spirit, a trio, not a solo.

To know me, is to know yourself.

Those who hear the voice of their soul, recognize the song in mine. They do not stop at the front door and judge me by the dwelling in which I reside. With a humble sense of honor, they knock upon the door and ask to come in.

The judgment of others does not change who I am. Quite the opposite is true. It reveals who they are.

Those who deem me unworthy at a glance and pass me on by, have my blessing to keep walking, for they have a long way to go. They have not reached the point in their journey where they
are able to see and appreciate me for who I am.

I will accept no less.


© 2001 Terri McPherson
Windsor, Ontario, Canada
tmcphers@mnsi.net
http://www.geocities.com/weewisdoms/wia.html

Types of Anxiety

Generalized Anxiety Disorder:

Generalized Anxiety Disorder is characterized by chronic anxiety that persists for at least six months but is unaccompanied by panic attacks, phobias, or obsessions. You simply experience persistent anxiety and worry without the complicating features of other anxiety disorders.


To be given a diagnosis of generalized anxiety disorder, your anxiety and worry must focus on two or more stressful life circumstances (such as finances, relationships, health, or school performances) a majority of days during a six-month period. It's common, if you’re dealing with GAD, to have a large number of worries, and to spend a lot of your time worrying. Yet you find it difficult to exercise much control over your worrying. Moreover, the intensity and frequency of the worry are always out of proportion to the actual likelihood of the feared events happening. Physical symptoms may include, fatigue, restlessness-feeling keyed-up, difficulty concentrating, irritability, muscle tension, difficulties with sleep.

Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder:

Post-traumatic stress disorder develops when a person has experienced, witnessed, or been confronted with an event or events that involved actual or threatened death or serious injury. This person re-experiences the event through distressing recollections, dreams, flashbacks, or heightened anxiety when exposed to situations or objects that resemble or symbolize the traumatic event. This person also tends to avoid things associated with the trauma and to experience a numbing such as an inability to recall an important aspect of the trauma, diminished interest or participation in significant activities, and detachment or estrangement from others. Additional symptoms can include difficulty falling or staying asleep, irritability, difficulty concentrating, hypervigilance, and an exaggerated startle response.

Agoraphobia:

Agoraphobia is the fear of being in particular places or situations that are away from one's area of security, that is, one's safe place or person. This disorder usually begins full-blown with a panic attack while victims are away from home--on the way to work, standing in line in the grocery store, or driving on the highway. There is no "common" place or circumstances where an attack will happen, but attacks usually occur away from home or apart from someone who the sufferer depends upon.


Along with the panic attack and its debilitating physical symptoms, agoraphobia victims feel an internal sensation of impending doom. They fear their anxiety reaction will continue to get worse until they finally "go to pieces" or end up screaming and hysterical in front of others. They especially fear loss of control or making fools of themselves in public. When the sufferers retreat, usually to their homes, the panic symptoms subside. Other than the memory of the extreme discomfort, sufferers quickly return to their original state, although many do feel "drained" for some time afterwards.


Escaping to home teaches sufferers that their houses are secure, safe places. Home then becomes their "area of security." The attacks also become associated with the situations or places where they occurred-a learning process known as classical conditioning. Sufferers develop a "learned response" in reaction to their fear. First, people have a fearful reaction to one particular store, bridge, or roadway. Then their reaction generalizes to all stores, bridges, or roadways. As time goes on, the sufferers' fears become more widespread and more pronounced.


In my case, the fear reaction started in the grocery store, and then eventually spread to driving, freeways, etc. Gradually, sufferers withdraw from all situations they expect will cause the uncomfortable, unpleasant feelings of anxiety and the awful physical sensations that accompany the attacks. Agoraphobia is developing.

PAD without Agoraphobia:

Panic disorder without agoraphobia involves unexpected panic attacks accompanied by worry about the return of panic and persistent fears of life-threatening illnesses, losing control, or "going crazy." Common symptoms include dizziness, feelings of unreality, palpitations, shaking, sweating, and nausea.

PAD with Agoraphobia:

Panic disorder with agoraphobia: All the above, plus anxiety when entering or avoidance of situations where a panic attack might occur and where escape is a problem or help would not be available. Common situations include crowds, bridges, tunnels, travel, waiting in lines, be alone.

Specific Phobia:

Excessive fear attached to a specific object (animals, heights, blood, and flying). The object or situation is avoided or provokes intense anxiety.

Social Phobia:

Excessive fear of embarrassment in social, performance, or other evaluative situations; these situations are avoided or suffered with intense discomfort.

Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder:

OCD is the acronym for Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder. Obsessions are defined as recurring unwanted thoughts or worries, and compulsions being activities or rituals that you may perform to relieve the anxiety brought on by obsessions. The cause of OCD is generally accepted and reasonably proved to be a chemical imbalance in the brain and has also been linked to the neurochemical Serotonin.


A class of drugs called SSRI's (Selective Serotonin Reuptake Inhibitors) have been shown to be effective in helping to treat OCD. There are several generally accepted subdivisions of OC's. Amongst them are Washers, Checkers, Cleaners, Hoarders, Repeaters, Orderers, and Pure Obsessives.


Washers are those OC's that generally have a fear of germs, dirt, or contamination from substances like bodily fluids, dirt, dust, bacteria, viruses, excretions, and the like. Washers that are compulsive can spend hours washing themselves, or parts of their body, to the exclusion of all else, trying to rid themselves of "contamination". They may also avoid contact with things to avoid being "contaminated". One of the most striking things about the spread of contamination is that the "contaminant" can (in the OC's mind) be spread from object-to-object without actual physical contact.


Cleaners are those OC's that feel that other things are contaminated or dirty, and spend much time cleaning their surroundings. For instance, a cleaner might spend hours dusting their home and then go back and start again as soon as they have finished because dust has settled in the interim.


Checkers have a problem remembering or being sure that they have or have not done something and therefore go back to check whether they have or not. For instance, a woman might turn off the stove but be compelled to go back and check 20 or even 100 times to be sure that it is indeed turned off.


Hoarders collect things...almost anything. They usually cannot even stand to throw away garbage and often will let it just sit around them. An inability to get rid of things is the significant symptom of this class of Obsessive-Compulsive.


Repeaters are OC's that feel compelled to do things a "right" number of times. This may serve to protect them from some imagined danger, or prevent possible harm to themselves or a family member. Repeaters generally fear that if they do not do things the "right" number of times, something bad will happen, although some may just have to do things "just right" for no apparent reason.


Orderers have to have things organized absolutely "the right way". An orderer might be reluctant to let anyone touch their possessions, lest they be misarranged. Orderers might spend hours just aligning a piece of paper on a desktop, or straightening a bookshelf.
The last type is the Pure Obsessive, which is also the most difficult OC to treat. These OC's generally suffer from obsessive thoughts of a disturbing nature. An example might be a person who constantly obsesses over whether they will hurt their child. Even though they know they wouldn't, they can't stop worrying that they might.


OCD can range from a mild nuisance to a very debilitating affliction. Some people might be unable to act "normally" or may be unable to function at all in social or workplace settings...or even at home, if the situation is bad enough. The good news is that there are ways obsessive-compulsives can be helped. These treatments range from cognitive behavioral therapy, to drug treatments, to neural surgery. There are options out there, and if you have OCD, and have not already taken steps to get help, I strongly advise you seek the help of a professional.

Medical Conditions:

This condition is characterized by anxiety resulting directly from a medical condition. Among the wide range of medical conditions that can cause anxiety symptoms are endocrine conditions, (hyper-thyroidism, pheochromocytoma, hypoglycemia, hyperadrenocorticism), cardiovascular conditions (congestive heart failure, pulmonary embolism, arrhythmia), respiratory conditions (chronic obstructive pulmonary disease, pneumonia), metabolic conditions ( vitamin B-12 deficiency, porphyria), and neurological conditions (neoplasms, vestibular dysfunction, encephalitis). A malfunction within the inner-ear system, can also cause a lot of the symptoms of panic disorder.

Picture of the Day

Cat Got Your Tongue?

"If you need your daily chuckle................this is by far the most painful (for men) and funniest (for women) to read.

We've all had trouble with our cats, but I don't think we can top this one:

Calling in sick to work makes me uncomfortable. No matter how legitimate my excuse, I always get the feeling that my boss thinks I'm lying.

On one recent occasion, I had a valid reason but lied anyway, because the truth was just too darned humiliating. I simply mentioned that I had sustained a head injury, and I hoped I would feel up to coming in the next day. By then, I reasoned, I could think up a doozy to explain the bandage on the top of my head.

The accident occurred mainly because I had given in to my wife's wishes to adopt a cute little kitty. Initially, the new acquisition was no problem. Then one morning, I was taking my shower after breakfast when I heard my wife, Deb, call out to me from the kitchen.

"Honey! The garbage disposal is dead again. Please come reset it."

"You know where the button is," I protested through the shower pitter-patter and steam. "Reset it yourself!"

"But I'm scared!" she persisted. "What if it starts going and sucks me in?" There was a meaningful pause and then, "C'mon, it'll only take you a second."

So out I came, dripping wet and buck naked, hoping that my silent outraged nudity would make a statement about how I perceived her behavior as extremely cowardly. Sighing loudly, I squatted down and stuck my head under the sink to find the button. It is the last action I remember performing.

It struck without warning, and without any respect to my circumstances.

No, it wasn't the hexed disposal, drawing me into its gnashing metal teeth. It was our new kitty, who discovered the fascinating dangling objects she spied hanging between my legs. She had been poised around the corner and stalked me as I reached under the sink. And, at the precise moment when I was most vulnerable, she leapt at the toys I unwittingly offered and snagged them with her needle-like claws.

I lost all rational thought to control orderly bodily movements, blindly rising at a violent rate of speed, with the full weight of a kitten hanging from my masculine region.

Wild animals are sometimes faced with a "fight or flight" syndrome. Men, in this predicament, choose only the "flight" option. I know this from experience. I was fleeing straight up into the air when the sink and cabinet bluntly and forcefully impeded my ascent.

The impact knocked me out cold.

When I awoke, my wife and the paramedics stood over me. Now there are not many things in this life worse than finding oneself lying on the kitchen floor buck naked in front of a group of "been-there, done-that" paramedics. Even worse, having been fully briefed by my wife, the paramedics were all snorting loudly as they tried to conduct their work, all the while trying to suppress their hysterical laughter.... . and not succeeding.

Somehow I lived through it all. A few days later I finally made it back in to the office, where colleagues tried to coax an explanation out of me about my head injury. I kept silent, claiming it was too painful to talk about. Which it was.

"What's the matter?" They all asked, "Cat got your tongue? If they only knew?"