Card Carrying Certified Chocoholic

As a Certified Chocoholic, the Cardholder is entitled to compassion and understanding if they do not share their box of chocolates with others, an extra helping of chocolate, chocolate-flavored food including condiments, chocolate syrup, frosting, sprinkles, or any other form not yet invented; and the inalienable right to use chocolate as a source of comfort, placation, or bribery for personal, professional and medicinal purposes of any kind.